I felt sick to my stomach as my son returned to the boy I had brought home from an orphanage 20 months earlier. Naturally our culture engages with small children in this way, and unnaturally I have to fight this weird battle of telling people to treat him differently. There are many moments that his mind still lives in the orphanage, the trauma, the past. You see, he was rewarded in the orphanage by being cute, by being sad, and by gaining adult favor.
And in this stressful moment, he is surviving with you. When you respond with favors and treats, you have reinforced attachment with the wrong adult. You take away my opportunity to teach him what a mother is, what a trust attachment should look like.
He wants you to hold him and pick him up, because in that moment, you might take him home. You might provide his next meal, a drink of water, or basic human attention because his brain is screaming that he is back in that orphanage,.. Food and physical contact mean survival. Dependence on adults, almost killed him.
Reliance on a big person, resulted in a starved child who could not speak or eat solid food at the age of 4. He has a brain that sees the world through the lens of trauma. When he is stressed, each move is calculated and an act of survival. And here you have this boy, who you want to pity, who you want to erase all the bad that has happened, by pouring in good things. You want to show him that the world is a good place filled with good people.
But there is nothing that can erase the past, it has left an indelible mark on his perception of love and attachment.
Daily Prayer (Extended Version)
So as a mother, I try to explain to people that we can never erase bad things with good. Instead we meet head on the nightmares, the pain and the fear. Because covering up a wound that needs dealt with is like putting a Hello Kitty band-aid on a hemorrhage. We have spent the last 20 months taking an adult-minded survivor and teaching him to trust like a child.
This has been a struggle each day to teach him to play with toys, not just sit rocking and twisting his hands. And when we are sitting there.
- Behind the Lime Kilns.
- Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit.
- Zig Zag: The Surprising Path to Greater Creativity.
- Suggest a Verse.
- Part 4 Redeemer and Ransom Explained! - The Mountain Audio.
- Psalm But God will redeem my life from Sheol, for He will surely take me to Himself. Selah.
The worst type of crying is not the loud cries and outward tears of my children or the wailing and righteous indignation of a toddler. No, what is so much more difficult, is the weeping of a soul that cannot be heard.
Philosophy and Christian Theology (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
A soul that is expressing itself in a language that I struggle to understand. Through my years of fostering and adoption, I am learning a new language. Trauma has altered his brain, its altered everything. I am learning that I must measure success differently. For a long time, I was frustrated when I found us sitting at ground zero…again. This is how I now measure success. This has happened because family, friends and teachers have helped build a community around my child that fosters his natural resiliency.
A community that provides safety and security by pointing to the correct attachment-his parents. I see it around town and church, when friends redirect him to a handshake, not a hug. I see it with family, as they pour love into him because this is what is natural attachment. In the chatter, I finally hear the echo of silence. The hours of quiet solitude and the fear that wraps its finger around his heart. In the silence, I can hear his whisper for help. And I can interpret the behaviors for what they really are speaking. Comments My heart is absolutely broken.
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The facts and the finances behind documentary and commentary are rarely brought to light. This book brings the facts back into the major debates and issues of today.
- Ransom Your Soul: Taking Back the Truth.
- Library of Souls Quotes;
- For Sale (An Olivia West Crime Thriller) (Thin Blood Book 3)?
- The Dead Are Dead Until the Rapture or Resurrection.
- TO RANSOM A MAN’S SOUL.
- A Pretty Mouth.
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